Being happy doesn’t just happen, you have to work to make happiness work for you!

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Wrangler tee | C/meo skirt | Spurr heels | Minkpink sunglasses

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There is no denying that my smile has made a return. I am happy and I am not at all afraid to show it!

Like a lot of people, I didn’t actually realise how unhappy I was until I started making changes and saw a significant shift in the way I felt. Once I had noticed the difference, it was easy to commit even more to these changes. For the most part, my current position can be attributed to a just a few life adjustments.

Making more time for friends and family

We all do it. We all get caught up in the ‘I’m so busy’ and forgo time with the people we care about, for whatever it is we busy ourselves with. In my case, it is usually work. In other cases, it might be piling in extra hobbies or over committing to cleaning the house or simply not picking up the phone and organising anything. Whatever it be, we should never be too busy for family and friends.

This is something that I will admit that I forgot for a while there. In the last 6-12 months, I have made a conscious effort to do the things that make me happy, and that includes seeing my family and friends as much as possible. I have learned that most other things can wait. What is most important is doing what makes me happy.

That blog post? It can wait until tomorrow morning to be posted if it means I can have a dinner with my dad. That article deadline that is looming? I am sure I will still have ample time to do it even if I take a few hours out to go out with a friend. That never ending pile of emails? I can attend to the most urgent ones from my mum’s lounge room back in Bunbury.

The fact of the matter is, I will always have time for friends and family if I make them a priority; and I will always be happy so long as I have time with my family and friends.

Cutting out anything that wasn’t making me happy

Well, duh!

This sounds pretty obvious and self-explanatory, but cutting out the things that aren’t making you happy is easier said than done. The process of cutting out the things that aren’t serving you well is a little more convoluted than simply ridding of the negative trigger. Take – for example – people. It can take a fair while before you realise that your relationship with someone is a toxic or empty one; and even once that has been identified, the process of removing them from your life can be tough.

In the last 2 or so years, I have been through some rather major relationship breakdowns. I have chosen to distance myself from certain people, end long-term relationships and decide to never speak a word to certain people again. They weren’t always easy choices at the time, but when I look back at it all, most of the time I wish I had have done something about it sooner.

It sounds dramatic, but I am all the better for ending or changing these relationships. We have a finite amount of energy and a finite amount of time, so it doesn’t make sense to be investing it in to people that aren’t giving you enough back. Once you cut out the people and things that are draining you, you gain back an incredible amount of energy!

Relinquishing control

As a Leo, I am all about control. I need to know everything, I need to understand what is happening and I need to feel like things are tracking in the right direction. Well, at least I did – things are a bit different these days. Slowly letting go of my grip on the reigns has really helped me to loosen up and stop overthinking things.

I think the thing that really helped me to do so was constantly being told ‘what is the worst that can happen’. In the majority of my stressful situations, the worst thing that could happen had very minor consequences. If the worst thing that could happen really didn’t have much of a consequence, then someone please tell me what the heck I was worrying about?! Nothing.

Being less in control of things means there is less for you to hold yourself accountable for too. That is groundbreaking for anyone who overthinks or tends to undervalue themselves!